The Comfort of Appreciating My Dad’s Legacy
I’ve been thinking about my dad’s legacy, so as a way to keep honoring him, I wanted to start by sharing the short tribute my mom, brother and I wrote together for my dad’s memorial service, and then share my thoughts on his legacy and the ways he has shaped who I am.
“Darrell Vandergriff celebrated 80 years this past August 12th, 2024. He was born in Lancaster, Ohio, to Harry and Mabel Vandergriff, the fourth of seven children. He is survived by his sisters, Vivian Peterson, Jeanne Hugo, and Patricia Vandergriff, as well as his brothers, Phillip and Rocky. He is preceded in death by both his parents, and his brother Sonny, who died in infancy.
Darrell met the love of his life, Wanda Gifford at Travis Air Force Base in California, in April, 1964. They were married on December 19th of the same year. They moved from California to Alaska in September 1975, with their two small children, making Ketchikan their home in the fall of 1980.
A man of much talent, he built their home on D-1 Loop Road where they lived for forty years, before relocating to Knudson Cove. He was a self-employed contractor, who not only built and remodeled the homes at their K-Cove property but also built several beautiful houses in our community. He had so many skills and so much ingenuity. He was fearless about tackling any project or need that came his way, but he would never make much of these accomplishments because of his humble heart.
He loved his sawmill with all its sawdust. He loved moving everything with his excavators! He especially LOVED fishing. (My brother) Ty says, “He taught me everything I know. He was an incredible teacher. He worked with you, never rushed you, but showed you, and then patiently turned it over to you.”
Darrell was a completely authentic person. You got what you got with him, and what you got was a genuinely caring person, who would do anything he could to help you out. On top of all this, Darrell was a character. He was full of humor--nick names and one-liners flowed out of him with a twinkle in his eye. Darrell’s friendly nature made everyone who met him feel at ease.
He is dearly missed by all of us, but we take comfort in knowing that he gave his heart to the Lord as a young man and continued his faith from his heart.”
I found this quote from Benjamin Disraeli, a former Prime Minister of the UK, which seemed to fit my dad so well. Disraeli said, “The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.” The way my dad lived, and his unique personality, gave him a great name, and has given all who knew him an “inheritance of a great example” in so many ways. We all in one way or another have enjoyed the benefits of my dad’s skills, but my brother, my son, my husband and my dad’s many friends gained so much from tapping into his knowledge of construction, problem solving, excavating, boating, fishing, sawing lumber, falling trees - you name it, my dad could do it. But they also experienced my dad’s “get her done”, fearless attitude. My dad would tackle a mountain of gravel that needed to be spread around the house one shovel at a time. The word “can’t” really wasn’t in his vocabulary. He always found a way to do anything he set his mind to.
He was larger than life in so many ways to those who knew him and those who loved him. The way my brother so smoothly docks his boat, his incredible skill as a charter captain and fisherman, and his love for his family, all reflect my dad’s enduring impact on him. My brother’s outspokenness, frankness, and clear vision all speak of our dad’s influence on him. How my brother can fix things and do just about anything he sets his mind to all are a tribute to our dad and showcase his legacy.
I’ve been wrestling with some sorrow over not having all those work-related experiences with my dad, because my dad spent most of his life working hard and he did things that I just didn’t have the strength, aptitude or interest in. However, just like my dad is leaving his legacy in my brother and in my son and in his granddaughters’ lives by the ways that he has shaped them with his love, humor, time and skills, he has shaped me, too.
He taught me loyalty. He showed me through all our trips from Alaska to Southern California to visit and help my grandparents when Ty and I were growing up that being loyal to family was a top priority for him. That loyalty is instilled in me. I can also see his persevering attitude in my life. He’d work and work until he accomplished the project before him, and he didn’t give up when it was tough, which it usually was! When my kids went through so many serious health challenges for over a decade, the persevering attitude that I received from my dad helped keep us moving forward, along with the multitudes of prayers offered up on our behalf!
I can also see how my heart to help others however I can has been passed down to me and modeled for me by both my parents. My dad was always ready to lend a hand whenever any of us had a need. My dad also had an incredibly tender heart beneath his sometimes-rough exterior. He grieved the death of loved ones and friends and his faithful four-legged friends deeply. That trait is ingrained in all of his offspring.
My dad was known for his ingenious solutions to problems and he never liked to waste anything. I don’t have the knowledge or same type of skills he did, but I do believe the gift God gave my dad to solve problems in creative ways has been gifted to me, too. My dad had an adventurous spirit, which is one of the reasons my parents ended up moving to Alaska from the desert of Southern California with two little kids in tow back in the ‘70s. I have to say, I love a good adventure myself, and try to see life as one, as you may have noticed in my “Looking Back, Looking Forward” blog piece.
I know that I’ll be able to see more ways that my dad’s legacy lives on in all of us as time goes on, and each thing I notice will be a special one of those “good and perfect gifts” that James chapter one in the Bible assures us are all from the heavenly Father - “the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Along with these blessings, I am also seeing and feeling this truth, too: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NASB1995)”
As I close, I have one more quote to leave you with, especially if you’ve lost a dear, dear loved-one, too, and sometimes worry that you might forget special details about them or special memories that you made with them. It says, “We do not have to rely on memories to recapture the spirit of those we have loved and lost – they live within our souls in some perfect sanctuary which even death cannot destroy.” (Nan Witcomb) I think this is a beautiful thought. Because of love and experiencing life together, because I will always be my dad’s daughter, his love, example, and legacy will always be a part of who I am. I do hope you can see that in your own unique situations, as well, and that it will be a comfort to you.
