Dearest Mom - a healing poem

This poem is the oldest of all the pieces you’ll find in Journey into Trust. I wrote it in early 2003. I was in my early 30s - during those years when I think a lot of women struggle to come to terms with their relationship with their moms. I had read a book by Dr. Linda Mintle called A Daughter’s Journey Home….it seems like I’ve been on journeys all my life….but at this point I had been out to California to visit my parents recently and had once again seen my mom when she was under stress, serving everyone at my grandparents’ house. It was during this time of reflection and prayer back in my home in Illinois that I realized that because we lived so far apart and usually only saw each other in that setting, I really didn’t have all those good times stored up in between the stressful ones to help keep our relationship strong. The Lord also showed me that since I was hypercritical of myself and feeling like I was drowning in my own sin during these early married years, it was magnifying my mom’s shortcomings all the more, because we are a lot alike. When He helped me write “Dearest Mom” it was a turning point in my heart and a time of deep healing for me. He helped me grieve ways my unrealistic expectations had not been met, and He poured grace into my heart —fresh, much needed grace— which spilled out into the words of this poem. I always felt that it was given to me not just for my mom and me. I hope it will help many daughters accept their moms more fully and many moms feel more loved by their daughters. I hope it will be a healing poem for you as it was for me.

Dearest Mom,

No one could ever take your place in my life,

Because you’re my mom,

And I cherish you.

God hand chose you to be the person you are--

He hand chose me to be your daughter--

And His grace is enough for both of us.

His power is made perfect in our weaknesses,

And sometimes, He helps us see where those are --

in each other.

When we cry out to Him,

His presence transforms us.

For He comes to us,

Overflowing with Grace,

To heal us with Truth…. and Love.

          He gave us to each other,

       not to compete,

               or to control,

     or insulate our hurts from one another

        But to grow together—

      A source of love and strength,

                                     A ray of hope and joy in each other’s lives.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve failed to be these things for you.

For the times I’ve hardened my heart,

Or hidden my heart,

Instead of opening it wide to you--

Lavishing on you the love Jesus faithfully loves me with--

Accepting me

Giving me grace upon grace

Aching for my good,

Protecting my heart of hearts,

Every day, no matter what I’ve done--

or not done.

I want to love you like this more and more,

Because you’re my mom,

And I cherish you.