Pain in the Sunshine
“Every good and perfect gift is from above…” James 1:17
Please take a moment to read my devotional piece, “Pain in the Sunshine”.
My pervasive pain
of healing wound
in the cold,
or dark of night,
is far worse than
my same pain
somehow soothed
by the gentle
sunlight
illuminating my room
and spirit.
As it streams through the clear glass,
the violet blue sky,
and yet bare branches I see outside,
bring welcome
color to my
long days of waiting.
How grateful I am that
“The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?”
(Psalm 27:1)
What assurance I have since,
“the earth is the LORD’s and all it contains,
the world and all who dwell in it.”
(Psalm 24:1)
May these words comfort you as they have me,
for Jesus is the light of the world,
who will never leave His own.
His sunshine will always find a way
to stream into the waiting,
welcoming spirit and soul.
Our God sees and understands.
The Father’s heart is toward us
as it was toward Israel, when
“in all their affliction He was afflicted….”
(Isaiah 63:9a)
And before there even was an Israel,
when Hagar was suffering
she called Him,
“Elroi –Thou God, doth see me”
(Genesis 16:13)
He will do no less for us.
He will feel no less for us.
He will be no less for us.
I wrote this piece during the most painful days of my breast cancer journey when I was healing from the cumulative effects of five weeks of radiation therapy. I had done everything I could to avoid pain! I even applied a messy French Green clay mask over my radiation field many days after returning home from my daily treatments, because I’d heard on a breast cancer summit that it could help prevent burning. Well for me it didn’t! It started to feel like it might be irritating my skin midway through and my doctor advised me to just use the lotions they had provided, which worked ok until about day 22. That Friday evening when I showered I realized that my skin was coming off like slime and that my outer layer and inner layers, too, were all broken down and disintegrating. I called the on-call doctor to see what to do because it burned like crazy. He told me that lanolin lotion could help and put in a prescription for more silver sulfadiazine cream to help prevent infection.
The next three weeks were pure misery as I slathered everything imaginably soothing under my left armpit an on the left side of my chest and my upper back trying to soothe the terrible pain and help my body overcome the radiation burning that had not yet peaked. Family and friends prayed for me and the Lord sustained me. I spent a lot of time in bed since moving hurt so much. I cut the neck and arm holes bigger on my husband’s old t-shirts and wore them with my towel cape around my shoulders since it was February and the house felt chilly even with heat. My friend called me a “super hero” when she heard of my get up! It made me chuckle -- I was quite the sight!
God was merciful and gave me sun streaming through my window. He gave me time with Him and a gracious family who picked up the slack and did all the things I could not do for a while. He held my hand and reminded me that His presence truly makes everything better—even skinless armpits! He also made me more grateful for His gift of skin than I ever have been in my whole life. When my armpit and chest started healing and began to feel normal again, I rejoiced and rejoiced over His gift of skin! How it protects us, shields us, clothes us, all with so little appreciation from us. Let’s ask Him to help us to appreciate more gifts from Him that we tend to take for granted and bask in His good designs and plans!
(Just one more thought, in case you or someone you love is facing radiation. What happened to me was a pretty rare reaction to the therapy course. I think I have exceptionally thin skin —physically— and I’m sure emotionally too! But truly, I can’t sleep with the smallest blue LED on in our bedroom and make Tim turn his digital alarm clock away from our bed, because I can tell if there is any light. Also, my radiation oncologist usually has his patients return for a follow up visit in three to four months, but he wanted to see me in one month just to make sure I was healing on schedule because my armpit was so raw and red. Yes, I’m sure there will be burning, and it will hurt, but I saw another lady finish her course while I was in the radiation therapy waiting room and she rang the bell and didn’t look like she was in any pain at all. Truly each person’s body is different and responds to all we have to endure in different ways, but even in worst case scenarios, God is just as present, just as powerful, and just as faithful!)
If you’d like to share this poetic piece with someone you know who needs encouragement, here’s the link:
If you are blessed by my writing style, I think you would be touched by my book, Journey into Trust. You can find out more here, by scrolling down until you see it: Journey into Trust
